Things I have been thinking about lately:
1. If a fat person in space can float just as easily as a skinny person, would being fat become obsolete in space?
2. I wonder if there will be such a thing as an outer space interior designer one day. And how would I go about getting the job? Would Southern people living in outer space still want animals mounted/hovering on their walls? Will there be such a thing as space fishing?
3. Why don’t women who go to Michael’s know how to park their cars? Watching them try to go in reverse gives me vertigo. Why is Michael’s filled with unattractive housewives and gay men (ok, I don’t really need an answer to this question)? Is it because they only play George Micheal songs?
4. How did the manager at Michael’s in Buckhead decide to hire an 80-year-old cashier who needs a price check for every item that crosses her register because she can’t see ANYTHING and she moves slower than a pink flamingo?
5. Why is a ticket for failing to put a seat belt on your child cheaper than one for an expired tag? Why did I have to sit in a courtroom for four hours this morning in order to figure this out, while my truck was illegally parked outside?
(I parked my car right in front of the downtown justice center knowing full well that it was illegal and I would probably get another ticket. Even though I was an hour early for my citation hearing and could have easily found a legal parking space. People often ask me why I do things like this. I honestly don’t have a good answer. Spite? Stubbornness? Stupidity? Take your pick. I’ve decided to just go with it and not question myself so much. $150.00 fine for an expired tag later; my truck was still right where I left it and no parking ticket. Whew! My seemingly endless pile of yellow citations has ended for this year, hopefully.)
6. Why do friends with bad taste in clothing always dress alike?
In honor of all of my questions: one of my favorite videos.
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