White Squirrels Do Exist


I went to Cashiers, N.C. this weekend and it was amazing.  The scenery was spectacular and my company was even better.  I saw a white squirrel! While someone may still not believe in my powers of visual acuity, I know what I saw and it was thrilling.  Just me and this albino-hybrid squirrel soaking up the silence on the deck as his little red eyes glared at me and he said something that I think may have been the equivalent of “Get the fuck off my deck you giant blob,” as I tried to whisper-yell inside: THERE IS A SQUIRREL ON THE DECK AND IT’S WHITE! I KNOW YOU WON’T BELIEVE ME BECAUSE YOU THINK I CAN’T SEE. DO YOU THINK IT KNOWS I HAVE AN ACORN IN MY POCKET?  CHRIST, NO ONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE ME NOW.


We hiked to Whitewater Falls and Rainbow Falls and on the drive back to our cabin we (by which I really mean, the one of us who isn’t blind) spotted what any good hiker wants after an arduous day of stopping every thirty minutes to “appreciate nature” and take a smoke break: a brewery! The Sapphire Mountain Brewery was truly an oasis in a town where the grocery store does not sell alcohol and most restaurants are BYOB.  They have over 80 beers on the menu and their micro-brews are worth a try, especially the Magic Hat.  They also have an extensive list of “carry-out” beers that made me want to die of happiness.

Oooohhhh!  And I got the coolest birthday present EVER: an Abel knife that is the best thing since the left-handed tennis racket. I’ve been attempting to open and close it one-handed all day and I’ve poked quite a few practice holes in my dress. I trust I’ll get the hang of it soon enough.

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