White Squirrels Do Exist

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I went to Cashiers, N.C. this weekend and it was amazing.  The scenery was spectacular and my company was even better.  I saw a white squirrel! While someone may still not believe in my powers of visual acuity, I know what I saw and it was thrilling.  Just me and this albino-hybrid squirrel soaking up the silence on the deck as his little red eyes glared at me and he said something that I think may have been the equivalent of “Get the fuck off my deck you giant blob,” as I tried to whisper-yell inside: THERE IS A SQUIRREL ON THE DECK AND IT’S WHITE! I KNOW YOU WON’T BELIEVE ME BECAUSE YOU THINK I CAN’T SEE. DO YOU THINK IT KNOWS I HAVE AN ACORN IN MY POCKET?  CHRIST, NO ONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE ME NOW.

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We hiked to Whitewater Falls and Rainbow Falls and on the drive back to our cabin we (by which I really mean, the one of us who isn’t blind) spotted what any good hiker wants after an arduous day of stopping every thirty minutes to “appreciate nature” and take a smoke break: a brewery! The Sapphire Mountain Brewery was truly an oasis in a town where the grocery store does not sell alcohol and most restaurants are BYOB.  They have over 80 beers on the menu and their micro-brews are worth a try, especially the Magic Hat.  They also have an extensive list of “carry-out” beers that made me want to die of happiness.

Oooohhhh!  And I got the coolest birthday present EVER: an Abel knife that is the best thing since the left-handed tennis racket. I’ve been attempting to open and close it one-handed all day and I’ve poked quite a few practice holes in my dress. I trust I’ll get the hang of it soon enough.

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