1. Receive an early morning wake up call from Brother J.
2. Brother J informs me I should already be up and it’s not his fault that he is a gigantic horses ass.
3. Brother J denies leaving me a drunken voicemail message at 3:00 a.m. where he is singing a Spanish rap song about wanting to slap someone in the crotch.
4. I deny sending him a postcard that reads: Embrace your impotence.
5. Go back to bed and forget everything we talked about. Start over tomorrow.