1. Receive an early morning wake up call from Brother J.

2.  Brother J informs me I should already be up and it’s not his fault that he is a gigantic horses ass.

3.  Brother J denies leaving me a drunken voicemail message at 3:00 a.m. where he is singing a Spanish rap song about wanting to slap someone in the crotch. 

4.  I deny sending him a  postcard that reads: Embrace your impotence. 

5.  Go back to bed and forget everything we talked about. Start over tomorrow.