As the fantasy football season gets ready to start, the Southerner and I spent one evening on our porch trying to brainstorm team names.  The next morning when I woke up and found the list amidst a pile of empty beer bottles, I couldn’t help thinking to myself “We are truly sick.”

1.  Post-Sex Cum-Plop

2. Colostomy Straw

3. Herpetic Ostomy

4. Speculum Shoehorn

5. Twatcicle

6. Dew-Flap Earmuffs

7. Dingle-Berry Tic-Tac

8. HiSpankMe

9. Bed-Pan Soup-Bowl

10. Granny’s Pap Smear

11. Giblet Gravy Sex Lube

12. Sloppy Sausage Wallet

13. Dental Dam Osmosis

14. Nanna Nipple Clamps

15. Platonic Discharge

16. Cum-Filled Cupcake

17.  The last one was so awful, I can’t bring myself to type it.  Let’s just say that in an altered state I thought it was truly genius.  Even when the Southerner looked at me with total disgust (which is a very hard feat to accomplish with him) and shook his head “no way,” I still thought he just wasn’t getting the humor in it.  Right up until I looked at the list in the morning and realized how seriously deficient and macabre my funny bone is after a few drinks.