1.  Buy $20.00 shampoo and conditioner even though I can’t remember the last time I washed my hair.

2.  Wear granny panties.  Occasionally.  Without remorse.

3. Drive with the windows down singing MC Hammer’s Two Legit to Quit at the top of my lungs, AND make the necessary hand motions that accompany the song.

4.  In total disbelief, scream at a 21 year old, “You don’t know who Kevin Bacon is?!!!!”