Me: Mom, I was so good in my pole dancing class I was thinking about applying to work as a stripper here for extra money.
Mom: Que? What are you talking about? Are you crazy?
Me: Well, I could use the money and I was really good at it. Almost like I was born to strip. Like a ballerina, but only a stripper. Do you see where I’m going here?
Mom: Que vulgar! You can’t! What will the Southerner think?
Me: He’s behind my decision 100%. He can’t wait to come see me dance.
Mom: What!!! Come home. You’ve been gone too long. You need your mother.
Me: April Fools, mujer! I got you.
Mom: It’s not April 1st yet!
Me: It is in my time zone.
Mom: So you don’t want to be a stripper? Promise me. No money in it for you anyway. You’re tetas aren’t big enough.