Last night watching my new favorite show: Man, Woman, Wild.
The Southerner: He doesn’t even know what he’s doing! He should have made some kind of spear, preferably with prongs. That’s how I did it when I went frog hunting.
Me: Hold up. You used to go frog hunting? Is that a Southern thing?
The Southerner: Duuuh. You can always find a frog gig at the local K-Mart.
Me: A frog gig, of course. For all the little serial killers in training.
(The sound of turkeys coming from the television.)
The Southerner: You’ve got to be kidding! Now he’s going to try and hunt a turkey in five minutes with a bow and arrow. Good luck! Who would you bet on? Him with a bow and arrow or me with a nice heavy rock?
Me: Someone really just needs to give us our own show.
The Southerner: Yeah, except for after two days without food you wouldn’t be able to speak anymore and I would be responsible for entertaining all the viewers at home.
Me: What, by throwing rocks at turkeys? Then there’d be some guy on his couch pointing at the screen and muttering under his breath about that idiot with the rock.