I turned away from the football game tonight to ask dad a question and noticed that he was wearing these, INDOORS.

Me: Whoa, Stevie Wonder, why are you wearing sunglasses indoors at night?

Dad: They’re the only glasses I could find that fit my prescription.

Me: Don’t you think that’s bad for your eyes?

Dad: No worse than not being able to see the TV at all.

As if this conversation wasn’t strange enough, Dad was simultaneously yelling at his $600 Macaw to “shut up!” while the bird, in an adroit demonstration of his market value, squawked back “shut up, shut up, shut up” with an occasional “bye-bye” and “hello” thrown in for good measure.

My dad wears sunglasses to watch tv while talking to his pet bird and drinking a glass of fancy port.  It’s like my very own B-version of The Royal Tenenbaums or, what I prefer to call, “My Childhood.”