My good friend Cracker-Jack and her husband came with us on our group honeymoon to Missoula. Cracker-Jack got married last year so both of us were keen on shelling out some advice to the younger ladies on the trip with us. I don’t know about Cracker-Jack, but anytime I’m around women in their 20’s I find it almost impossible not to give advice. Here’s a few things we discussed:
1. Try not to get married until you are in your thirties. If you’re engaged right now and in your 20’s, this doesn’t mean that I think you’re marriage isn’t going to work. It’s just that I think you have a much better chance if you’re in your thirties. You’ve had more time to understand what you want and don’t want in a partner and you’ve also had a lot more time to get to know yourself. These things are important.
2. Have a short engagement. Have a short engagement. Six months or less is ideal. During you’re entire engagement you will be consumed with wedding talk. It’s all your family will want to talk about and it’s all you will think about it. You may think you’re above all that or you’re not that type of girl. You will more than likely be wrong. The Southerner and I were engaged for six months and towards the end of it I was at my limit and going cross-eyed from all the DIY projects and wedding blogs I still hadn’t had time to read and/or incorporate into our wedding.
3. Take dance lessons with your future spouse. The Southerner and I took private tango lessons for six weeks before the wedding. We had so much fun together and for at least two hours each week we did not talk about wedding stuff. We just danced. The lessons were a little like therapy for me as well. I realized I had a tiny problem with control when I physically could not stop myself from trying to lead. And the Southerner realized that no matter how many times he steps on my feet, I will still love him a lot.