As evidenced below, I have a problem performing simple household tasks.  The Southerner asked me to change a lightbulb in our living room and this is what happened.

I’d like to think it’s because changing lightbulbs is beneath me.  That I’m a genius, incapable of boiling water because, by god, my brain is distracted with more important issues–like world peace.    Sadly, this is not true.  I’m just really bad at simple motor-skill related tasks.  As a teenager, the one time my dad asked me to mow the lawn I broke the lawnmower in the span of five minutes.    The Southerner likes to refer to this problem as my lack of “spatial awareness.”  I prefer to refer to it as “I never have to change another lightbulb or mow the lawn again.”