As evidenced below, I have a problem performing simple household tasks. The Southerner asked me to change a lightbulb in our living room and this is what happened.
I’d like to think it’s because changing lightbulbs is beneath me. That I’m a genius, incapable of boiling water because, by god, my brain is distracted with more important issues–like world peace. Sadly, this is not true. I’m just really bad at simple motor-skill related tasks. As a teenager, the one time my dad asked me to mow the lawn I broke the lawnmower in the span of five minutes. The Southerner likes to refer to this problem as my lack of “spatial awareness.” I prefer to refer to it as “I never have to change another lightbulb or mow the lawn again.”